His name is Malcolm Baldwin. He’s a star.

His bio says he’s 5′, 7.75″. Horse pucky. He’s 5′, 1.125″ or I wouldn’t be able to show this pic of him standing tall behind a Lotus Europa.

Yesss. There he is. See?

Therefore. The three things you can’t do if you’re a 5′, 1″ action hero.

1. You can’t be a villain in a Clint Eastwood movie.

2. You can’t be a villain in a Clint Eastwood movie.

3. You can’t be a villain in a Clint Eastwood movie.

Because, you know, Clint Eastwood is tall.