Spin doctors say the wound is very very serious.

It happened on the campaign trail. A young Trump fan smuggled a cat into a Pennsylvania rally and held it out to the candidate as he passed. “Sweet pussy,” he remarked, whereupon the cat scratched him viciously.

According to reports by NBC, CBS, ABC, CNN, FNC, MSNBC, and TMZ, Trump was immediately rushed by ambulance to a nearby hospital for emergency surgery.

Anonymous sources within the RNC have disclosed the surgery did not go well, and Trump is now clinging to life by a thread.

“The wound was just too massive to repair,” chortled CNN anchor Anderson Cooper.

NBC’s Chuck Todd confirmed the report in exactly the same words, adding with a chuckle, “What many would call poetic justice.”

Stay tuned for updates as this story develops.

In related news, a team of DNC physicians has announced with great relief that Hillary Clinton is “AOK” after a momentarily disturbing event at a campaign appearance before twelve supporters at the Astrodome in Houston.

Nothing to see here. It was just a mote in the corner of her eyes, probably a fly or something.

Mrs. Clinton is expected to be fine after a 48 hour nap at her home in Chappaqua.