Trolls are neither good nor bad. They patrol the frontier. They’re like gunfighters. They win and they lose.

Pretty easy, really.

1. Does the troll have a point? I mean, does he make you feel nervous, uncertain, on the defensive? Find your cojones. Make your point. Fight. You’re the home team, aren’t you?

2. Is the troll really just an idiot? Many are. Some aren’t. Ask yourself, what are your criteria? Then make a plan and execute it. Simple shit, eh?

3. Are you being stomped on by a higher intelligence who already knows you flunked shop and still can’t make change without using your fingers? Then lose gracefully and try to make friends.

4. Is the troll every dirty thing you’ve ever said behind everyone else’s back, from fifth grade on? You know. Karma catching up with you. Reflect. And act accordingly.

5. Ask yourself, just before you launch attacks that the other guy is ad-hominem, if you have ever been ad hominem yourself. You know. Condemning strangers with four letter words, ridiculing your imaginary indictments of their sexuality, and generally acting like a piece of used toilet paper pressed against the face of the Internet. Hey! Learn how to act like a gentleman. Or lady. As the case may be. A flurry of obscenities tells the whole world you lost.

I blogged for ten years with only one troll I had to ban. Because he just took up too much space, sucked the air out of other commenters’ room to opine freely.

Never met a troll I couldn’t put down like a rabid dog.

Ask yourself. What are your skills? How fast are you on the draw?

I don’t have much of a problem with trolls.

Wonder why.