The Command Center is always Ready!

From our roving reporter, presently in ICU somewhere in the trunk of Hunter Thompson’s old Lincoln…

Who knew that Dr. Ben Carson had a sense of humor? He’s just now accused Obama of having been raised “white.”

Carson and “Whitey.”

Of course, what does Carson know? He doesn’t have a doo-rag, a clapped-out Caddy with a Bentley grille and 19 inch spinner wheels, a Sig-Sauer in the glovebox, seven baby mamas over 200 pounds of booty each, a gold front tooth, and a thousand watt stereo screaming FU to everybody else at every red light. WTF would he know about being an African American?

Did you ever even see the spinners, Ben?

Thought not. We don’t need no education. Fool.

We don’t need nothin’ but Shake Your Booty.

Spapp witcha.

But Dr. Ben is chillin’ with his new bodyguards though. So don’t be thinkin’ you can cap THAT big unkatom ass. Know what I’m sayin’?

Dr. Ben’s the guy in the tie behind the, you know, Panthers. Know what I’m sayin’?

Because almost every black life matters, dontcha know? Unless they’s be cops or like whiteman shit or like Ben Carson. Cause we got bidness to do.

And Trump is the worst thing ever? You never heard anybody so vulgar? Two words occur to me I will not say.