It’s called Dead Scotty

She spends a lot of time milling around. And getting her from the breezeway through the garage to the dog room to the out of doors frequently requires a lot of dancing and ducking and blocking and skedaddling, which is a great trick indeed. But the thing she does that gets our closest attention is “Dead Scotty.”

One day it will be true. She’s 11 after all. But she gets us at least once or twice every day. Sometimes you have to wake her up in the morning. When you see her you think “Oh no.” Then she scrambles to her feet for the dance routine of the day.

Afternoons, we bring her upstairs to visit, and she hangs with Raebert and shrugs off the cats. Then you look over and see her and think, “oh no.”

She’s got Devil’s eyes. They laugh when you disturb her corpselike pose.

Scotties. Devil’s eyes. Laughing at you and the universe.

You cannot escape.

I remember. They called two straight personal fouls against Alan Page. 30 yards. He got them all back in the next two plays. Back when the NFL was a league of men fighting men. Now a judge. Ohio. Hey. We always win.

Do you remember? I do. There was Mean Joe Greene. And Alan Page and Carl Ellers. People who used to be known as football players.

What do we have now? The Hall of Fame Game. Vikings vs Steelers. Don’t they look cute? Their Twitter accounts are as fashionable as their wardrobes. And the incredibly stupid choreography they perform after a tackle, a sack, or a touchdown. Children are always children, regardless of race, creed, or country of origin.

Told my wife I’m just about done with the NFL.

I remember Bud Grant. He didn’t let his players wear gloves. It was always cold in Minnesota before they closed the city in a dome. Done.

Done. Done. Done. Oh Yeah. The running back who’s had half a dozen kids by half a dozen women. How cool is that?

Media Buzz. Half ass kissing and half ass covering (pun intended).

Wow. Wow. WOW!!! Didn’t want to watch but my wife made me. More than I ever wanted to know about Megyn Kelly’s digestive system. She almost couldn’t go on, but Howie Kurtz was too much a gentleman to ask if she was on her period.

In fact, they were very gentlemanly to themselves as a network. The approach of attacking candidates’ vulnerabilities was asserted quite assertively as a good and useful thing. Let’s do everything we can to make them look bad because the New York Times and the Washington Post won’t be doing that on overdrive until November 2016. Oh. That’s right. What we really wanted was for Fox News to get good reviews from the NYT and WAPO.

LET’s see, Megyn. The country is looking for a new president. Immigration. ISIS. Domestic terrorism. A budding race war. Catastrophic debt. An economy mired in the sludge of leftist regulation and phony climate change paranoia. So what’s the most important question to ask the biggest figure on the stage? “Uh, you called a woman a fat pig.”

Thank you, Ms. Media Talent of this new and odious century.

So now Fox News becomes the big coverup machine. Megyn gets ten minutes to explain why she and “the other two” did exactly what the alphabet networks would have done. Hector and embarrass the Republican candidates and re-upped the War on Women meme and the false controversies about how much white men oppose abortion. Then she got another three minutes to act all girly girl, complete with hand and hair histrionics, to tell us about what seems to have a bowel problem on the day of the show.

I kid you not.

I was pretty much done with Fox after that, but then by accident I heard part of Fox News Sunday on the radio. Charles Lane, in his urbane way, repeated the Erick Erickson slander, cementing it into the record. Laura Ingraham pointed out that Trump is saying things people want to hear. Chris Wallace questioned whether any of these Trumpsters are actually Republicans (huh?). Laura, probably hormonal at this time of the month, walked off the set to look after her thug Russian children, and George Will, finally asked about Trump, settled into his primmest grandma mode and let loose.

Can’t quote him word for word but it went something like this. “Donald Trump @&$?$&@? Trump %#^+¥£€ The Donald >€%#£€¥^*!”

No real cuss words, mind. Just the sanitized and oh so clever Princeton kind.

I’m thinking Fox has made a big business bet. Get some respect from the dying MSM and look for a ratings hike. Move left and steal audience from the alphabet news outlets.

The upside is obvious. So is the downside. Become what you used to loathe and despise, and you will lose the ones who once believed in you.

I Go Wild.

MY idea of Fair and Balanced. Megyn. Just saying.

Yeah. There’s going to be a precision bombing exercise at Fox News on August 6th. Silly people being low key for the sake of being not so bad candidates. Why?

What really happened 70 years ago.

Thursday, they’re telling us, August 6. Ten years ago on that date it was Harry’s 60th birthday. He offered two Psongs.

Now it’s his 70th. He offers one more.

PSONG 70

You passed beyond me. I was cold.
2 We had not spoken, I was cold.
3 Grey ladies came to make you old,
4 And I was angry you grew old.
5 But that was never what we do or did,
6 We never cared for what they did.
7 Our hatred and our love were not their ken,
8 Only seething awful fire of kin.
9 You died on me, last punch at love.
10 But die you couldn’t really, frightful love.
11 God eternal, beyond my sin.
12 My god, the truth, beyond my ken.
13 I hated you, you hated me.
14 You walked away, and I did too.

I told my wife I could write a Psong in a minute flat. Not a big deal. It’s always bottled up inside. It just needs letting out now and again.