My dad’s WWII “Flying Skull Squadron” flight jacket. He painted his P-47 on the back. Then after the war he painted the house in it, thereby proving how little he cared about his experience of the war. I once wore it to a Stones concert. Everybody tried to buy acid from me.

My wife has been after me to get a new suit and a pair of grey flannel trousers for some upcoming social occasions, including a wedding, a college graduation party, and a first communion. I’ve been balking. I have a closet full of clothes I rarely look at, since after my retirement from management consulting years ago, I get to work at home in tee shirts and jeans or, more casually, tee shirts and sweats. The fashion free-ness of a freelance writer.

So after the latest hint that it was time to go clothes shopping, I broke into the long shuttered closet and showed her what was in there, which — surprisingly — fits like the proverbial glove. Gave her a damned fashion show. She’d seen the stuff, but never on my body. I think flabbergasted would be the right word. Me as well as her.

There was a time, when I was hopping on planes and pretending to senior executives that I knew what I was talking about, when I cared about this stuff. Custom fitted suits and sport coats. Tailored shirts. Ties that cost more than my usual outfit plus shoes and Eagles Dawkins jersey. It was embarrassing. A blur of cashmere, silk, the finest worsted wools, tweeds, twills, and even some astrakhan. I have a Burberry raincoat from the era before everybody had Burberry scarves and ties. Shoes that cost more than it would take to put my motorcycle back on the road (which is a lot.) More vests than most guys have underwear. Overcoats galore? And we didn’t even get to the leather jackets, except for the one shown above.

So. My question for all of you. What’s the over and under on all these categories of clothing excess? I mean, how many of each of these is enough to own, even if you’re a fairly vain and ambitious consultant in corporate America — and a sometime cowboy motorhead in your leisure hours?

Suits

Sport coats

Ties

White shirts

Slacks

Vests

Overcoats

Leather jackets

Shoes

Boots

(Watches, cuff links, and boot chains are an extra credit category.)

Never thought I was one of the 1 percent. If I ever was, however briefly, I am no more. Hence this mea culpa.

Should I need more than this? No, dad.