The Tigress of Fox News. Don’t try to track her into the bush..

Tried to hang in there because where else you gonna go, but I’m nearly done.

When you look up their skirt these days, and they have a lot of skirts these days, all you see is Bush. Watching the new Redeye right now and all they’re talking about is vaginas. And nipples and farting. As if the way to sell conservative views is to be as vulgar as lefty comics. The conversation is moving on to dominatrixes, with another pass or two at nipples and vaginas. Thank God for the pure class of FBN’s Dagin McDowell. Think she’s about to joke about the smell of period pads. Sigh.

Rivers died, so E! Found Kathie Griffin. Gutfeld had a hangover and Fox gets Dagin. Ain’t life sweet? Guess it depends on how you feel about raspberry douche. Ask this month’s Redeye.

Where was I? Bush. Granted, some of them don’t have skirts you can look up, but they’re all working overtime for Bush. Chris Wallace, Bill O’Reilly, Geraldo, Shepard Smith, Krauthammer, Karl Rove, Karl Rove again, even Hannity, van Susteren, and Megyn Kelly (oops, but there’s no sign she’s definitely for Jeb Bush.)

All so afraid of the Independents. I once wrote something serious about Independents and how they’re not moderates at all, just mixed and too complicated in their views to pander to, but I can’t find that thoughtful piece so I’ll go with this instead.

Undecided Insanity.

Redeye is now degenerating into a cesspool of dirty flaccid unfunny snark. Why they should have cancelled it when Gutfeld retired. Thinking this new crew’d be happiest with four more years of Billary sex jokes. (Homophone intended.) Anyhoo.

Fox News. Becoming a farce. Rising from ratings success to ratings dominance and they still can’t spell their chyrons correctly or teach Brian Kilmeade how to pronounce names. Their chief correspondent — White House, Middle East, Oklahoma tornado beat — is the son of the former local weatherman Steve Doocy. No nepotism there. The afternoon hostess is a former Miss America, and the “serious” news shows still think Juan Williams is a commentator anyone can take seriously and then they invite the Borg known as Charles Lane to represent the mainstream media. Vomit time.

I could put up with all of that if they weren’t working so hard to pave the way for Jeb Bush. Oh yeah. Let’s be as Hispanic as Jeb and amnesty’s not so bad, because we all know most everybody is either gay or perverted anyway, meaning we need all that hot new hot blood, and the country has to change into something else like Obama says only he didn’t do it right and the RNC and Chamber of Commerce can do it better. And Kennedy on Outnumbered is the dumbass MTV future because look at her big fat white legs and her cool horn rims and Dana Perino is as dumb as Democrats think all Republican women are and she just laughs and laughs and defends them anyway because she likes their parties and Chris Wallace keeps on keeping on being the most obtuse graduate of Harvard since Al Gore and if we keep listening and laughing and swallowing the bull they’ll all get invited to the Jeb Bush Inaugural and they can keep on pretending they believe in something besides themselves and how important they are. Which they absolutely, positively aren’t.

I forgot. Eric Bolling. He sits next to Bob Beckel every night and has never once punched him in the mouth. Screw him too.

Which brings us all the way back to Megyn Kelly. Bush. You of all people should be guarding against just giving it away without a sense of judgment. You have a hubby and kids. The Bush propensity could give people entirely the wrong idea. Get rid of your glass desk. Until then you’re a shark vulnerable to yet another clam joke. As is your network.

Sorry to say. And by the way Fox, learn how to goddam spell. I mean it. You embarrass people like me every single day. Except I’m not watching you so much anymore. Like a lot of the rest of us. You know, the ones who actually believe in smaller government and don’t need Mexicans to landscape our lawns. Those of us who don’t make a million dollars a year and would like jobs for Americans in our own neighborhoods without having to buy the Rosetta Stone software to hire them. Stupid little trivia like that.

Advice to all who face the progressive tide from Mordor. At the very least, pull on your panties before you go to war. Treebeard will back me up on this. Did I say the end of Fox News? Maybe I should have said the split-end of decent reporting.

P.S. I admit I still like Harris Faulkner and Kirsten Powers, right and left, notice. They try to think, they have nice hair, and I’ve never seen their pubes or panties. What does that say about the state of journalism?