When you wonder who’s the guy, I’m the guy.

Last week, somebody posted 11 truths about greyhounds. So today we’re going to give you 11 truths about deerhounds. Meaning, what deerhounds would say if they weren’t constantly pretending that they don’t understand a word of English. It’s called the Scottish Way. I pretend I don’t understand you because it’s so obvious you don’t understand me.

1. Your Couch Are Belong to Us.

2. Cheetos.

3. Let’s face it. I’m pretty much always going to get my way.

4.

5.

6.

7. I don’t walk on slippery things.

8.

9.

10. Are you going to finish that?

11. You see?

Actually, there’s another eleven things about deerhounds, and eleven more after that, but he’s sleeping right now, which is a good thing. Trust us. They are, by the way, all of them, gray.