The Next Great Broadway Show: The Bean with Bacon Follies

The Once and Future Jersey Boy.

The Once and Future Jersey Boy.


People think Bobby Darin owned this song. Only because Sinatra was out of town at the time. Called one hit versus a hundred. Go figure..

Every Broadway smash has the “it” song. This one’s to the tune of Mack the Knife, which I just kindly racked up for you. Sung by Robert Davi. Is all this plain enough for you?

“Oh, the snark, babe, has such teeth, dear
And the Vegans are so wintry white
Bean with Bacon has new menus, babe
And we keep them, ah, brightly bright
Ya know when that Bacon bites the bean, babe
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy bowls, oh, wears old Beans, babe
So there’s never, never a trace of meds
Now on the sidewalk, huh, huh, whoo sunny morning, un huh
Stands a body just oozin’ life, eek
And someone’s sneakin’ ’round the corner
Could that someone be Bean with Bacon dude?
There’s a rowboat, huh, huh, down by the river don’tcha know
Where some Rolaids just a’drooppin’ on down
Oh, those Rolaids is just, it’s there for the weight, dear
Five’ll get ya ten old Bean with Bacon’s back in town
Now d’ja hear ’bout Louie Miller? He disappeared, babe…”

So we’re talking long legged dancing girls, Sinatra fedoras, and all the glittery stuff Broadway is so good at. Bound to be a few Tony’s in the mix for everyone involved. And then Davi can ride hilariously into the sunset.

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