Situation Even Tenser-ier at Socialigistical Convention in Clever

NBC anchors furious about events at Socialigistical Convention.

NBC anchors furious about events at Socialigistical Convention.

Very very here, people. The GLM (Greyhound Lives Matter) thugs have invaded the Socialigistical (Sighthounds who Can Spell “Ligistical”) Convention.

Fortunately, we have Mike Wallace who has the latest technology on the convention floor to tell us what the hell is going on.

As far as we can tell, Chet, it's Sarah Palin's fault. She showed up outside the security barriers and now all heck is breaking loose. I'll report more fully after I finish my dinner in the incredibly opulent Clever Place Hotel. [grin]

As far as we can tell, Chet, it’s Sarah Palin’s fault. She showed up outside the security barriers and now all heck is breaking loose. I’ll report more fully after I finish my dinner in the incredibly opulent Clever Ritz Hotel. [grin]

The media are doing their best to tampon down the waters.

The convention in Cleve.

The convention in Clever.

What do you think, Chet? I never think, David.

What?

What?

Never? That’s right, David. I’m too important to think.

What?

What?

Chet, it begins to look like the GLM forces are contending with the Clever police. Some violence, it would seem, is unfolding.

GLM supporters are bringing AR-15s to their protest.

GLM supporters are bringing AR-15s to their protest.

Very likely, David. Why don’t we take this opportunity to check in with our two highly educated pundits, Algore Vidal and William F. Bugley.

You little queer. I'll smash your pansy face to a pulp.

You little queer. I’ll smash your pansy face to a pulp.

We’ll get back to Algore and the Bugley person later, David, but what’s happening in the streets of Clever?

What?

What?

Oh. Chet. I was on the wire with my, uh, source on the streets. She’s, er, they say business is bad. Lots of men, too few johns, er, law abiding citizens.

You £€%#>#{#¥!!!

You £€%#>#{#¥!!!

That looks bad, David. Maybe we could get some perspective from the eminent author Algore Vidal and the Bugley person…

..."then I'm going to cram your faggot balls all the way up to your..."

…”then I’m going to cram your faggot balls all the way up to your..

I guess there’s at least a possibility something is happening on the convention floor. Mike? What say you?

As far as we can tell, Chet, it's Sarah Palin's fault. She showed up outside the security barriers and now all heck is breaking loose. I'll report more fully after I finish my dinner in the incredibly opulent Cleve Place Hotel. [grin]

As far as we can tell, Chet, it’s Sarah Palin’s fault. She showed up outside the security barriers and now all heck is breaking loose. I’ll report more fully after I finish my dinner in the incredibly opulent Clever Hotel. [grin]

In that case, Chet, let’s look at what the candidates are doing. My, er, sources tell me the two combatants in this horrifically violent confrontation are presently locked in heated talks to arrive at a compromise candidate. Some say it’s this one.

The GLM fallback.

The GLM fallback.

Others say it’s this one.

Graphics copyright by Deerhounds of North America.

Graphics copyright by Deerhounds of North America.

Really, Chet?

What?

What?

Breaking… The candidates are hopelessly at odds. They’re even snarling about snacks at the conference table. One of our NBC photographers managed to snap this photo of them going toe to toe the same way the protesters and police are doing it in the street.

Word is, they're locked in negotiations to end the violence.

Word is, they’re locked in negotiations to end the violence.

That looks very serious, David.

What?

What?

BREAKING… Mike Wallace has finished dinner and gotten laid…. More to come

BREAKING… the convention confrontation has been resolved. Both parties have agreed on a compromise candidate all Sighthounds can, and would actually like to, make that love to, live with.

Mommy. Everyone loves mommies. Except faggot progressives.

Mommy. Everyone loves mommies. Except faggot progressives.

Good night, Chet. Good night David.

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