Very very here, people. The GLM (Greyhound Lives Matter) thugs have invaded the Socialigistical (Sighthounds who Can Spell “Ligistical”) Convention.
Fortunately, we have Mike Wallace who has the latest technology on the convention floor to tell us what the hell is going on.
The media are doing their best to tampon down the waters.
What do you think, Chet? I never think, David.
Never? That’s right, David. I’m too important to think.
Chet, it begins to look like the GLM forces are contending with the Clever police. Some violence, it would seem, is unfolding.
Very likely, David. Why don’t we take this opportunity to check in with our two highly educated pundits, Algore Vidal and William F. Bugley.
We’ll get back to Algore and the Bugley person later, David, but what’s happening in the streets of Clever?
Oh. Chet. I was on the wire with my, uh, source on the streets. She’s, er, they say business is bad. Lots of men, too few johns, er, law abiding citizens.
That looks bad, David. Maybe we could get some perspective from the eminent author Algore Vidal and the Bugley person…
I guess there’s at least a possibility something is happening on the convention floor. Mike? What say you?
In that case, Chet, let’s look at what the candidates are doing. My, er, sources tell me the two combatants in this horrifically violent confrontation are presently locked in heated talks to arrive at a compromise candidate. Some say it’s this one.
Others say it’s this one.
Breaking… The candidates are hopelessly at odds. They’re even snarling about snacks at the conference table. One of our NBC photographers managed to snap this photo of them going toe to toe the same way the protesters and police are doing it in the street.
That looks very serious, David.
BREAKING… Mike Wallace has finished dinner and gotten laid…. More to come
BREAKING… the convention confrontation has been resolved. Both parties have agreed on a compromise candidate all Sighthounds can, and would actually like to, make that love to, live with.
Good night, Chet. Good night David.