The Eiffel Tower is a symbol of France and it is all, completely, about sex. Time they remembered it. I knew it, saw it, when I was just ten. Everybody on every street, was panting for it 100 percent of the time. I fell in love on the Riviera after one night of a torch singer who did a pretty good impersonation of Piaf. The usual renderings are almost always phallic. I mean, you’ve seen this pic or one exactly like it hundreds of times.

The Paris, France, of your imaginings.

They try to make it look like maleness incarnate. But it isn’t. As you learn when you actually go there. It’s a huge structure standing on spread legs.

Thar she blows. The Eiffel Tower at ground level. Come on in.

Entrez, entrez, monsieur. Regardez le ciel.

Zut alors!

It’s the biggest vagina in the world.

Why France is France. The all-in-one architectural incarnation of male and female carnality in history. You know. The ultimate F-Word.

Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose.