Strawberry shortcake.

Thing is, I couldn’t find a birthday candle in the kitchen. There were these green things that look like fuses but I didn’t want to blow up her cake. So I put a flag in it and rewrote Irving Berlin.

God bless Patricia
Wife that I love
Stand beside her
And guide her
Through the night
With the light from above.

From the Greyhounds
To the marshlands
To the seashore
Her Jersey home.

God bless Patricia
My home sweet home.

What could I do. She didn’t want me to get her a gift, not even my best offer:

1500 horsepower. 0-60 in 2.3 seconds. She said, “Don’t do the usual man thing and get me what YOU want.” Nothing will do. If you can’t find a loving card, the hell with it.