Kelly Clarkson.

I’ve nothing against Kelly Clarkson. Don’t much like Chris Wallace. But he’s allowed to make a joke in response to a clear invitation to do so. I’m at odds with my wife on this.

Kelly got fat. Sorry. She’s a celebrity. People are allowed to offer subtle needles. Deep dish pizza seems a mild needle to me. Are we also supposed to pretend that Aretha Franklin doesn’t outweigh a Sherman tank? What are the new rules? Orson Welles wasn’t fat? Jackie Gleason? Kate Smith? Dom Deluise?

I was as close to him as you are to the person right next to you. I know that sounds awkward. But he was completely, utterly enormous. It was his whole schtick.

Too bad, honey. This time I side with Fat Face. Lay the hell off, everybody.