Did you know that March is Womyn’s History Month? Needless to say, they’ve been celebrating. Some highlights of the wit and wisdom they’ve shown since the same time last month.
Sarah Silverman volunteered to educate us men about how to resist our irresistible compulsion to rape every woman in sight. Pretty white of her I must say.
Especially given that Lena Dunham penned an outstandingly witty New Yorker article designed to instruct her sistren how to tell men from dogs. She lightened the blow by pretending she was only talking about Jewish men. Dogs have yet to organize their own victimization movement and identify their own triggers and micro aggressions. I’m nervous about what pit bulls and Rottweilers might have to say when they do.
Speaking of mad dogs, Hillary struck yet another blow for womyn’s absolute equality in the competitive field of politics by issuing a list of words, principally adjectives, that will not be tolerated during the upcoming campaign in which she can be expected to destroy all her opponents, male and female equally, after the fashion of her dynastic, one generation lineage of utter criminality. Just don’t say anything sexist. That would really piss her off.
Thing is, looking at womyn and noticing that they’re female remains one of the very worst things men can do, curse them. Why one of the leading womyn designers has announced a line of underwear for the superior sex that is intended to be decidedly unsexy. Or so she claims. You be the judge. Color us impressed but baffled.
Bold and groundbreaking as this offensive is, it’s not enough in the U.K. There, the lesbians are getting mad at straight womyn for appropriating their shapeless baggy clothes look. Apparently straight womyn have a duty to deflect hateful man stares away from the ones who find them even more offensive than radical feminists. One can only hope they’ll work it through without the kind of knock-down drag-out cat fight men find so erotic.
Actually, nothing is enough to satisfy womyn in the U.K. Here’s the lede from a recent article in the Washington Times.
A U.K. student feminism conference is asking attendees to refrain from clapping and use “jazz hands” instead so as to not trigger anxiety in others.
The National Union of Students (NUS) Women’s Campaign announced the clapping “ban” at the West Midlands conference on Twitter Tuesday, shortly after receiving a request from the Oxford University Women’s Campaign.
“Please can we ask people to stop clapping but do feminist jazz hands? it’s triggering some peoples’ anxiety. thank you!” Oxford representatives wrote.
In case you’re not completely conversant with what “jazz hands” are, here’s a brief tutorial.
I was thinking about waiting for the end of the month. But then, I got to thinking, you might mistake this post for an April Fool’s joke.
P.S. I should have known they’d save the best for last. Something about cats, which as you all know, I know nothing of.