The Rioting Olympics

Let the Games Begin!

Let the Games Begin!

The 2014 edition of the games got underway last night (as required) with a dramatic opening ceremony in Ferguson, Missouri. First was the traditional torching of a police car, followed by touchingly nostalgic tributes to the games’ customary events — including the looting of liquor stores, nail salons, and dollar stores, the burning to the ground of hair salons, the overturning and burning of parked cars, and the ever popular hurling of bottles and obscenities at police.

Competing teams in other cities, such as New York, Los Angeles, Philadelphia, DC, and Oakland, played their part in inaugurating the (expected) two week long event by conducting parades through their planned target zones.

Movingly, the president played master of ceremonies, offering encouragement to the rioters with a becoming nostrum or two about fair play.

Needless to say, the opening ceremonies were covered live, with outstanding play by play coverage, by all three cable news networks, who will also share minute by minute coverage of individual events in the weeks to come.

Enjoy this time-honored production as it unfolds before us. I’m sure we’re all proud to be witnesses.

  1. Tim’s avatar

    I agree, it was a thrilling ceremony. Only thing is I’m disappointed by the lack of diversity among event participants.

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