Autographed Ray Rice jersey.
I tend to congratulate myself for being right a lot, for being prescient, for having good timing. So it’s only fair that I admit when I’m none of those things.
Last Christmas, I got my wife an autographed Ray Rice jersey. Thought I did good. She went to Rutgers and after the Vick fiasco in Philly she transferred her team loyalty to the Baltimore Ravens.
To be honest, I had mixed feelings about the Ravens. On the one hand, they’re the only NFL team named after a poem. On the other hand, the Ravens are an abomination, the Cleveland Browns stolen from their home in the dead of night and therefore permanently accursed and evil. You know.
I had mixed feelings about Ray Rice too. He went to the NFL before he graduated from Rutgers. I carped about that, blamed the coach, though I understood the hardship argument without fully accepting it. He also couldn’t talk like a college student. “Should of went” is not a locution I countenance in anyone.
But we have season tickets at Rutgers, and we have seen Rice play valiantly many times. We watched him help the Ravens to Super Bowl victory. So I bought the jersey.
It was a matter of only days later that the Atlantic City elevator video surfaced. The one of Rice dragging his unconscious fiancé into the hallway. We were done with him then. There was no need to see what happened inside the elevator.
We were equally disgusted with the two game suspension. One of many reasons why my interest in the NFL is plunging. Why I seared Rush Limbaugh a while ago. I don’t care about political correctness. Hitting women is not a mistake. It’s a mortal sin.
Now my disgust has reached an altogether new level. The video of what happened inside the elevator has generated a ridiculous flurry of “shocked, shocked” reactions. Please. I never needed to see it and have done my best not to see it, in the same way that I have done my best not to watch beheading videos or the compound fracture videos of Joe Theismann or its NBA counterpart a few weeks ago.
But we still have this autographed jersey. Anybody want it? Call it a monument to the prophetic pretensions of yours truly.
If you want it, I’ll mail it to you.
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Not yours to give away. It was a thoughtful and generous gift much appreciated. He was a great running back.
The most ironic part of this is that Rice’s special issue was bullying. What a travesty he’s made of that.
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No interest in the jersey, sorry. Not your fault, though. It’s the thought that counts, as they say. Jerseys are volatile investments, even if the player has retired (O.J. anyone?).
“One of many reasons why my interest in the NFL is plunging.”
I hear you. Did I not notice before or is there a record amount of “substance abuse” going on right now? Not including players who were slipped a mickey at the Kentucky Derby, of course.
My memory is hazy, but it seems like there was a time, long, long ago, at least 10 years, where people who used “performance enhancers” were called cheaters. Now these suspensions get reported as if they were ankle sprains: “The Chiefs are w/out so-and-so this week, who is still serving his suspension.” And isn’t it slightly odd how the usage always seems to be discovered in the off-season? How stringent are the drug tests during the playoffs?
On a related sports note, I know how much you love the NBA basketball (kidding, kidding). Read this article and ask yourself why on earth anyone would want to own a NBA team:
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/bruce-levenson-atlanta-hawks-email-team-sale/
You’ll notice the author does not actually give any suggestions on how the Hawks can be profitable and not lose another $24 million this year. Just “racist” this and “racist” that. And speaking of the author, if he lived in Atlanta, how many Hawks games do you think he’d pay to attend?
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Who did the Citadel play on Saturday? And why? We both grieved for you over the weekend.
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I thought you’d be too busy grieving for the Buckeyes to notice the self-inflicted beatdown at FSU. I’m touched.
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I follow the Buckeyes for my mother and her parents. Truthfully, I’ll be rooting for the Scarlet Knights when they play OSU this year. Not that it will do any good.
And yeah, we do feel for the Citadel. An old tradition that seems to be fading. Lessens us all.
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“An old tradition that seems to be fading. Lessens us all.”
They now have all plebes wear sneakers with their uniforms instead of leathers during hell week. For health & safety, so the poor widdle freshman won’t get blisters on their precious feet. Being in “soft shoe”, as we called it, used to be a mark of shame. It meant you were an idiot for not breaking your shoes in ahead of time and a pussy for not sucking it up. It also made you a shitbag since your classmates were experiencing shining their shoes and having them continuously wiped out during the day, to say nothing of your classmates who also had blisters yet refused to go to sick call.
So now everyone looks like an shitbag. Problem solved.
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