Shark Eyes

Dead eyes.

“Lifeless eyes, like a doll’s eyes…”.

I know. Last night was huge. Eric Kantor got defeated in a primary. Never in history has a sitting House Majority Leader been evicted in a primary. It’s bound to reenergize all the grass roots resistance to Washington DC the professional pundits have been determined to write off.

If you want the politics of it, go to Laura Ingraham’s website or radio show. There was an interesting tableau, though, on Megyn Kelly’s FNC show last night. Four old white guys pooh-poohing the loss in order to defend the Republican establishment. But Megyn had arranged call-ins from Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham.

The two of them trounced the dismissive conventional wisdom just spouted by the old white guys. Ann and Laura were both impassioned and smart. Contrary to the Fox News line, the entire Republican Party had just been up-ended, out of the blue, so to speak.

So, being the astute politically obsessed observer I always am, I turned to my wife and said, “I have two questions about Megyn Kelly.”

She said, in her usual verbose way, “Shoot.”

“Is it considered a good fit if a thirtyish woman has a kind of pleat going on in the top between her breasts?”

“No. It isn’t.”

“And don’t Megyn Kelly’s eyes look as dead as shark’s eyes?”

“Yes. They do.”

I dunno. Just saying. I don’t think of Fox News as an ally in the grand fight to save the nation. I think of them as Switzerland, a boring neutral with a bunch of money in the bank.

When I think of their journalism (sorry, imagine me putting air quotes over that word), I have an immediate image of Peter Doocy, son of the channel’s resident weatherman and arch morning bore. Peter has nice hair. No doubt why he’s the Fox News Channel’s chief White House correspondent, foreign correspondent, and investigative reporter.

Peter seems a nice boy. But… Sorry.

I have a whole other post to do on this subject. Give me a few hours. Please? The data gods are not being kind today.

  1. Alfa’s avatar

    I know that no one else has covered this as well as you. Dead on, so to speak.

    Reply

  2. Barbara’s avatar

    Lady Laird was humoring you, RL., trying to ease your sour mood. She knows that Megyn Kelly’s eyes are intelligent and attentive, and about as un-sharkly as it’s possible for eyes to be. Her hour — between 3 p.m. and 4 in Hawaii, which is fortunate — is virtually the only time of day my television set is turned on. She’s begun to beat O’Reilly in viewer counts, I’ve heard, and that’s one of the few news items I’ve seen recently that lifted my spirits for a brief moment.

    Yeah, the others on that channel are a pretty low competitive bar, I’ll admit. Switzerland is exactly right. As bad as O’Reilly is, Hannity is worse. He doesn’t offend but his mind is so dim that I writhe in embarrassment for him and just cannot watch his inability to follow any lead. He needs a teleprompter.

    I have no opinion about any pleats that Megyn Kelly may have in the space between her breasts, and have no idea whether you’re referring to skin pleats or dress pleats (I possess the former so naturally I find them eminently tolerable). Kelly is 43 years old and not thirtyish, if that makes a difference. She’s gorgeous (and warm and very, very smart). I’m astonished you don’t see that.

    Reply

    1. Instapunk’s avatar

      Nothing would please me more than agreeing with you, Barbara.

      You’re right about many things. The handful of women like you and Lady Laird possess wisdom, which is the rarest of all human treasures.

      Hannity is an embarrassment. Your description is perfect. I cringe constantly when I force myself to watch.

      O’Reilly needs to go home. Nothing more to be said.

      But I respectfully disagree about Megyn Kelly. She’s good at her job. But she’s too big for her britches. The pleats I mentioned were dress pleats. 48? Quit using your breasts as weapons at some point. She doesn’t really listen. She just stops talking for a while. No sign that she actually learns anything from what others might say. The prosecutor mentality.

      And she does have shark eyes. On that point Lady Laird agrees with me. She never liked Megyn. Still doesn’t. Grumpy when I watch.

      Go to Deerhound, though. Because of you I am going to apologize. Another rare thing that probably won’t happen at this site.

      Reply

      1. Lady Laird’s avatar

        Sorry Barbara but RL speaks the truth. I have little tolerance for her. She sets her agenda and that is that. She might as well be in a coma for all the response she gives to any of her guests. I can’t stand people who do not listen. I deal with enough of it at the office. Don’t need it from the hostess with the mostest.

        Reply

      2. Barbara’s avatar

        With Lady Laird against me too, I think it would be prudent to retreat to my corner and sulk. Not gonna win this one. Now I’ll have to watch the show alone, denied the pleasure of “Hmmm. Wonder what RL and LL are thinking about that exchange. (Funny how we could differ so much in our judgment of her character and performance. Keeping in mind the dominance of the clock on the wall and the producer’s voice in her ear, I like how carefully she does listen and is able to change focus when a guest’s response is unexpected.)

        And RL: Breasts are a weapon for all of life, although “weapon” is not the word I’d choose. Yes, I understand your message but you cannot say in one post that women are mainly useful for breasts, hips and childbearing, that Kelly should just go home and be a mom, and in another chastise her pride in her appearance. I’m not Ethel Barrymore yet. One of the delights of old age — and they’ve been few — has been to discover that men respond to femininity and women to masculinity to the end of their days.

        Reply

      3. Instapunk’s avatar

        I think we can agree on a lot of things.

        It should be your show, not Megyn’s.

        Breasts are wonderful.

        I contradict myself sometimes. Even though I never do.

        And, finally, breasts are wonderful.

        Does that cover the waterfront?

        Reply

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